Due to its dense population of parents, Heaven sympathizes with the interminability of the run-of-the-mill chaos that comes with raising children, and Heaven answers with exactly the kind of miracle your family needs in the given moment.
I'm not referring to cleaning-related miracles. I'm thinking of the practical 'miracles' the 'other side' catapults into domestic life just to help you survive that day without completely tearing your hear out or collapsing in a heap of frustration.
I'm not referring to cleaning-related miracles. I'm thinking of the practical 'miracles' the 'other side' catapults into domestic life just to help you survive that day without completely tearing your hear out or collapsing in a heap of frustration.
Some may argue that these aren't 'miracles,' per se. But, whatever, you know when something shouldn't go right but miraculously does. Such in the case of the following domestic 'miracles' (really!) that I'm convinced we all need:
Miracle 1: The infinity-of-space miracle.
Heavenly miracle synonymous with "space bag,"? How can that be, you may be wondering? Wonder no more, dear reader...it just is.
Freezers, purses, under the stroller baskets: this is the miracle that happens when your items grossly exceed the capacity of your "stuff holder" and yet somehow something else (read: your water bottle, purse, the kids' sand bucket/shovel combo, and hey, even the soccer ball!) fits.
Beach bag about to rip at the seams (can you tell I'm from California?)? No way, says Heaven! That trip to the sea is necessary to avoid those counseling session you will need from being cooped up all day and falling victim to another case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
That's not for you, dear child rearing, child of God! Heaven to the rescue! Bing! Now it all goes in, more or less precariously. Blessed Mother knew ahead of time that you would need that extra hand to push your stroller, and eat that ice cream cone. She understands...
This miracle also applies to cabinets, pantries and refrigerators. Freezer door not closing? Meh, just squish the max pack of fish sticks in between the fries and whatever that packet of meat was when you first bought it (now, oddly enough, it squishes). Don't worry! God provides! It'll 'fit.' And anyway, God also invented duct tape to help you out.
Heavenly miracle synonymous with "space bag,"? How can that be, you may be wondering? Wonder no more, dear reader...it just is.
Freezers, purses, under the stroller baskets: this is the miracle that happens when your items grossly exceed the capacity of your "stuff holder" and yet somehow something else (read: your water bottle, purse, the kids' sand bucket/shovel combo, and hey, even the soccer ball!) fits.
Beach bag about to rip at the seams (can you tell I'm from California?)? No way, says Heaven! That trip to the sea is necessary to avoid those counseling session you will need from being cooped up all day and falling victim to another case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
That's not for you, dear child rearing, child of God! Heaven to the rescue! Bing! Now it all goes in, more or less precariously. Blessed Mother knew ahead of time that you would need that extra hand to push your stroller, and eat that ice cream cone. She understands...
This miracle also applies to cabinets, pantries and refrigerators. Freezer door not closing? Meh, just squish the max pack of fish sticks in between the fries and whatever that packet of meat was when you first bought it (now, oddly enough, it squishes). Don't worry! God provides! It'll 'fit.' And anyway, God also invented duct tape to help you out.
Miracle 2: The"reappearing in
the place where you should have left it" miracle.
Your keys, wallet, or that universally annoying remote you keep misplacing; isn't it nice to know that St. Anthony 'has your back?' I can't tell you how many times something has 'appeared' out of the blue either where it is supposed to be or just randomly, even in places that I've already searched and previously came up empty handed. Without this one I would either die or be stranded somewhere...and then die.
Your keys, wallet, or that universally annoying remote you keep misplacing; isn't it nice to know that St. Anthony 'has your back?' I can't tell you how many times something has 'appeared' out of the blue either where it is supposed to be or just randomly, even in places that I've already searched and previously came up empty handed. Without this one I would either die or be stranded somewhere...and then die.
Miracle 3: The"lasting longer
than it should" miracle.
Your bottle of hair conditioner (toothpaste, cosmetics or anything else that makes you feel normal), the gas tank, or that hot dog condiment that starts to seem bottomless, I'm convinced the hand of God is been. Why not? Look at the gas prices...and look how many hot dogs your kids eat! God knows what you need! He knows when his people are being economically squeezed unjustly. And anyway, God is all about 'solar,' ...and probably hot dogs too. Probably.
Your bottle of hair conditioner (toothpaste, cosmetics or anything else that makes you feel normal), the gas tank, or that hot dog condiment that starts to seem bottomless, I'm convinced the hand of God is been. Why not? Look at the gas prices...and look how many hot dogs your kids eat! God knows what you need! He knows when his people are being economically squeezed unjustly. And anyway, God is all about 'solar,' ...and probably hot dogs too. Probably.
Miracle 4: The "unexpected snack/dinner-in-a-pinch" miracle.
You're in public. The kids are screaming "snackyyyyyy!" at the top of their voices in a way directs everyone's gaze to your direction. As you dig frantically in the bag for snacks, you imagine that all parents within earshot are assuming your kids must subsist on a cruel diet of banana skins and the salt that falls from saltine cracker. You wonder to yourself , 'Why didn’t I pack the fruit snacks?! " when, Bing! a bag of fishy crackers suddenly manifests itself. Thank you, Heaven!
Look, this definitely qualifies as a miracle, especially when you don't know how those fish got there, nor do you even remember shopping for them. But, hey, they're there, they smell fresh-ish and the kids can nom nom their way into a contented cracker coma. Yay! Now, you are beaming with the confidence that everyone is thinking you're parent of the year! Because it's all about image, when you're a parent.
This miracle also applies to when a 'dinner' (read: a can of Spaghettios) appears in your pantry or when that duct tape on the freezer door finally gives and 'dinner' falls out (even if it is frozen pierogies).
Hey, I can take a hint. Frozen food falling out of the freezers may the closest we get to manna from Heaven these days. No complaints here...and I'd probably prefer perogies to manna anyway.
Now it's your turn. Can you think of anymore domestic miracles we all need?
Look, this definitely qualifies as a miracle, especially when you don't know how those fish got there, nor do you even remember shopping for them. But, hey, they're there, they smell fresh-ish and the kids can nom nom their way into a contented cracker coma. Yay! Now, you are beaming with the confidence that everyone is thinking you're parent of the year! Because it's all about image, when you're a parent.
This miracle also applies to when a 'dinner' (read: a can of Spaghettios) appears in your pantry or when that duct tape on the freezer door finally gives and 'dinner' falls out (even if it is frozen pierogies).
Hey, I can take a hint. Frozen food falling out of the freezers may the closest we get to manna from Heaven these days. No complaints here...and I'd probably prefer perogies to manna anyway.
Now it's your turn. Can you think of anymore domestic miracles we all need?
Oh, my favorite is finding baby asprin in the middle of the night when I was sure that we'd run out. God's hand at work!
ReplyDeleteBeen there! Or when there's only just enough of Baby Tylenol so that you have one full dose left (thereby allowing you to get some sleep until morning when you can buy more!) Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteThere was a tray of Kirkland Signature waters underneath all the beach bags, towels and chairs that I don't recall purchasing. Lord Almighty! i was thirsty, went to retrieve something else from my car trunk, and found a whole 36-bottle count pallet, unopened! How? Why? Dunno. But it was THERE!! I have absolutely no memory of buying it. None. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteAwesome. And also pretty biblical "Come to me all who are thirsty..." ?
DeleteFinding diapers in different places when you need to go to the store or wash them (in my case).
ReplyDeleteor
your children finally fall asleep at the same time so you can steal a quick nap because you too are totally exhausted from pulling "an all-nighter" oh, not the ones you experienced in college where you could trudge back home and crash. No the ones you experience with a baby or sick child and dread because you know that your "all-nighter" will turn into 48 hours with no sleep. But somehow a saint comes through for you and your children fall into comatose states. Thank Heaven!
Totally understand the diaper thing...in my son's case, once it was one left over pink "training" diaper when we were potty training my daughter. We made sure he wore a long T-Shirt that morning so that no-one else would notice! Thanks for the great comment!
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