The calumny leveled against the Church’s teaching on artificial contraceptives usually stems from either: a.) a general lack of knowledge or denial of how contraceptives work (or, I should say, continuously fail) and b) ignorance of Church teaching and the theology behind it. From my limited experience as a speaker about the morality of Natural Family Planning, I have to say that just a little clarifying information about either typically appeases all except for the most cantankerous objectors.
And so, enter my sister and I. She’s a nurse, I’m a theologian (in training), we both practice NFP with our spouses and between the two of us, in the course of an hour, we cover the science and reason that support the rationality behind Church teaching on sexual morality. It’s a fitting ministry for any Catholic wife and mom to undertake and I wish more did so!
We’ve gotten pretty good reviews from the couples so far, and have not yet encountered any blatant hostility. With the next engaged couple retreat coming up I find myself again contemplating what it is that we NFP speakers (following Holy Mother Church) are actually asking of the couples in our talk; what we are inviting them them consider about human sexuality and God’s plan for their marriages.
On one hand, we are asking for a lot. In an hour, we’re encouraging them to buck the trend of popular culture, rethink their opinion of the Church’s teaching and go against what they’ve been taught and have probably practiced for some time.
On the other hand, we are asking for very little. In fact, all we are ultimately asking for is what people already do in other corners of their lives: practice self -restraint along with some observations of temperature and physical signs and that’s it!
What? Are you suspicious that it’s too simple? Why?
I can tell you very plainly, why: because it is that simple. One of the most negative aspects of human nature is that we tend to complicate things. Pharmaceutical companies know this and firmly invest themselves in nurturing our anxieties about health and fertility - and it gives them great financial returns, indeed! For we, the easily ruffled sheep, go out and buy, buy, buy our peace of mind with a product (contraceptives), even as we say bye, bye, bye to our health in the long run.
And yet, scratch but a little of the placid ‘I’m in control of my body’ surface and you discover that peace of mind is impossible once you know the risks associated with taking birth control. And yet many people don’t know the facts – for some couples, our talk is the first time they hear how hazardous contraception is to health!
Posts by M.Nichols
Showing posts with label Natural Family Planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Natural Family Planning. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Combatting Popular Culture with NFP Part 2
What continues to boggle my mind is this: how it is that we live in an age of such ubiquitous accessibility to information and yet people still do not properly educate themselves on the dangers of artificial contraceptives.
Women who have given up the pill with whom I have spoken often indicate that they got started on it believing that they were choosing a ‘necessary evil.’ At the time, they were also ignorant of any other effective option, and ultimately, they had been misled into believing it to be a good thing, or at least not so evil, after all.
Deep down, though, they knew something was wrong. But our popular culture made it easy to believe that they were doing something responsible, and so they just ‘conveniently’ didn’t look up the facts which would have told them that they were putting themselves at risk for various health problems, not the least of which is breast cancer.
This indicates yet another negative about human nature: that we are completely capable of living in denial over the consequences of our actions, that we can live insulated in our social bubbles comfortably away from the truth, and that, rather than stick out, we’d rather opt to go along with whatever is culturally mainstream, even to our own detriment.
Ironically, that same culture which abhors any notion of the ‘oppressive’ and ‘conniving’ Catholic Church having any input into what consenting adults do in the bedroom is the same one that says, “Here, ingest, implant or inject these chemicals into your body, stick that device here, place that barrier there and then enjoy!” Really? Is this what people would rather do than hold out for completely natural sex which requires abstaining for a brief* time each month? Is this the extent of how enlightened we’re supposed to be now about sex? Depressing, if that’s the case.
But there is a better option – one that sadly has been relegated to darkened rooms of retreat centers or living rooms of faithful Christians (and even ecologically conscious hippies!) who spread the good news about NFP one couple or group of couples at a time. But that is changing slowly with greater documentation on the effectiveness of NFP and more complete training for healthcare providers.
And so in our talk, my sister and I make it a point to just stick to the facts and then exhort couples to entertain a healthier option for their conjugality. Simple, right? Yes. And no.
It’s not so simple, as the topic carries with it a freight car sized load of emotional baggage. It’s hard to brush off the truth and I’ve seen couples greatly moved by it during the retreat. Like I said at the beginning of Part 1 of this post, people sometimes come not knowing the complete picture either with regards to the science of birth control, or the reason behind the Church’s teaching. They only know the party-line of a culture that beleaguers the Church with accusations of being everything from archaic to misogynist in its stance on moral and sexual ethics.
And yet scratch a little bit into her surface, spend some time investigating her reasons and you find a very holy and wise Mother; a Church that is truly passionate about our health and families in a consistent and holistic way. This I believe is the gift that Natural Family Planning offers all of humanity and I know, I know, that out there in that darkened gym of engaged couples, hearts and minds are listening.
*brief = 6-10. In some cases, a couple of days more, as each monthly cycle is different. That leaves 15-20 other days of the month! (And the national monthly "coitus average" is 8!)
Women who have given up the pill with whom I have spoken often indicate that they got started on it believing that they were choosing a ‘necessary evil.’ At the time, they were also ignorant of any other effective option, and ultimately, they had been misled into believing it to be a good thing, or at least not so evil, after all.
Deep down, though, they knew something was wrong. But our popular culture made it easy to believe that they were doing something responsible, and so they just ‘conveniently’ didn’t look up the facts which would have told them that they were putting themselves at risk for various health problems, not the least of which is breast cancer.
This indicates yet another negative about human nature: that we are completely capable of living in denial over the consequences of our actions, that we can live insulated in our social bubbles comfortably away from the truth, and that, rather than stick out, we’d rather opt to go along with whatever is culturally mainstream, even to our own detriment.
Ironically, that same culture which abhors any notion of the ‘oppressive’ and ‘conniving’ Catholic Church having any input into what consenting adults do in the bedroom is the same one that says, “Here, ingest, implant or inject these chemicals into your body, stick that device here, place that barrier there and then enjoy!” Really? Is this what people would rather do than hold out for completely natural sex which requires abstaining for a brief* time each month? Is this the extent of how enlightened we’re supposed to be now about sex? Depressing, if that’s the case.
But there is a better option – one that sadly has been relegated to darkened rooms of retreat centers or living rooms of faithful Christians (and even ecologically conscious hippies!) who spread the good news about NFP one couple or group of couples at a time. But that is changing slowly with greater documentation on the effectiveness of NFP and more complete training for healthcare providers.
And so in our talk, my sister and I make it a point to just stick to the facts and then exhort couples to entertain a healthier option for their conjugality. Simple, right? Yes. And no.
It’s not so simple, as the topic carries with it a freight car sized load of emotional baggage. It’s hard to brush off the truth and I’ve seen couples greatly moved by it during the retreat. Like I said at the beginning of Part 1 of this post, people sometimes come not knowing the complete picture either with regards to the science of birth control, or the reason behind the Church’s teaching. They only know the party-line of a culture that beleaguers the Church with accusations of being everything from archaic to misogynist in its stance on moral and sexual ethics.
And yet scratch a little bit into her surface, spend some time investigating her reasons and you find a very holy and wise Mother; a Church that is truly passionate about our health and families in a consistent and holistic way. This I believe is the gift that Natural Family Planning offers all of humanity and I know, I know, that out there in that darkened gym of engaged couples, hearts and minds are listening.
*brief = 6-10. In some cases, a couple of days more, as each monthly cycle is different. That leaves 15-20 other days of the month! (And the national monthly "coitus average" is 8!)
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