punchy line

...and he (Simon Peter) saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth ... not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. - Jn 20: 6-7
-Jn 20: 6-7

Monday, September 28, 2015

How Strong and Sinewy Her Suffering Hath Made This Mother

Since having my fourth child, the ante has been raised.

It's not that the demands have changed, it's just that there are more of them.  More needs to tend, more bellies to fill, minds to educate, souls to form, bodies to clean and keep track of.

It's exhausting even when it's fulfilling.  It's impossibly difficult when it's overwhelming.

But tonight, rather than dwell on my usual pain and exhaustion, I contemplated the simultaneous and parallel reality that I rarely remember to think of, especially in the difficult moments.

After almost a decade of mothering, always with "a babe in arms" as my relative remarked this weekend, even in my the most painful moments of motherhood, I have practiced loving, and giving, and sacrificing, and offering, and forgiving, and getting up again and again, to my absolute limit.  Even beyond that.

All this suffering has not simply wrought a tired casualty of motherhood.  Far from it.

The consequence of my heart's "love membranes" being constantly expanded in directions and ways I never knew they could be has wrought a human being in me whom I actually can say I like.  I am not perfect by any means.  Far from it.

But I have loved stronger, for longer, through harrowingly lonely days, and sleepless, energy sapping nights.  I have given more to my family in the way of patience, repetitious correction, physical presence that I have ever given to anything else.

I am more sympathetic to suffering, particularly of parents. I am more sensitive to attacks upon the souls of children.  I am more aware than ever how everything I say or do, or how I express my body language, is always under the observation of little eyes and being absorbed by little hearts.

I know what it means to be driven to your ultimate limit of love and patience and kindness and yet find it in myself to give more love and patience and kindness than I thought possible.  And to do it all again the next day.

I know what it means to be constantly open to life, and to have to mourn two unborn children miscarried.  I've tasted the sweetness of complete union and the bitterness of abstinence and can tell you that you do survive the latter and that each of these intense feelings instructs your ability to love on almost a divine level.  To put it simply: with your whole being.

I've also learned my limits.  And oh, how I've learned them.. how to let go of a dirty house, look beyond the immediate when my spouse has gone temporarily insane, accept that there will be imperfection in almost everything I do.  I'm still learning how to shrug and how to laugh about it.

My suffering, in other words, whether I want to admit it or not, hath wrought a rather sinewy edge to me that I might not have otherwise.

As someone who is almost a complete stranger now to a full night's sleep, leisure time, the ability to eat without making sure a child eats, and to eat something other than children's food, I can honestly say I still have never been more free in all of my life than in the rigor (some might say cloister) of child rearing.

I am not free from sinning and making mistakes, but I am free from making the mistake of thinking that anything else in life is more important than my children, than forming them in Faith, than trying to become properly formed myself.

"Be a saint, what else is there?" asks Catholic Answers Live radio host Patrick Coffin.  I am blessed.  There is nothing else.  Nothing to stop me or my family or anyone from being a saint.  Would that we all realized how our sufferings are the golden rungs on the ladder to sainthood, and that by them we are made free.

10 comments:

  1. If you're at all interested in knowing . . . the Catholic Dogma . . . that we *must believe* to get to Heaven, and which you have *never* seen . . .

    I list it on my website > > www.Gods-Catholic-Dogma.com

    > > Abjuration of heresy to enter the Catholic Church > www.Gods-Catholic-Dogma.com/section_19.1.html

    The Catholic God knows . . . what we think and believe . . .

    Catholic writing of Romans 1:21 >
    "They ... became vain in their thoughts, and their foolish heart was darkened."

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Deuteronomy 31:21 >
    "For I know their thoughts, and what they are about to do this day."

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Job 21:27 >
    "Surely I know your thoughts, and your unjust judgments against Me."

    The group that calls itself "islam" ... is not a religion. Fully proven by the fact that the "koran" says the *opposite* of the Old Testament Prophets > Section 113 of the site.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. REAL AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL THAT WORK FAST AND EFFECTIVELY https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com

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      REAL AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL THAT WORK FAST AND EFFECTIVELY https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com

      Hello everyone i know there is someone somewhere reading this,My name is Dena Cruz from Leicester city,England,I want to share a great work of a spell caster called Priest Ade my husband and i had a fight which led to our divorce but when he left me a part of me left with him and i was to sad and cried all day and night i was searching something online when i saw people testifying about his great work and i just decided to give him a try i did everything he told me to do and he assured me that after 24 hours my husband will come back to me,the next morning to my greatest surprised a car stopped outside my house and it was my husband i'm so happy he can also help you email him at
      ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  

      Blog: https://ancientspirit1.blogspot.com
      Website http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me
      WhatsApp +2347059715465









      REAL AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL THAT WORK FAST AND EFFECTIVELY https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com

      Hello everyone i know there is someone somewhere reading this,My name is Dena Cruz from Leicester city,England,I want to share a great work of a spell caster called Priest Ade my husband and i had a fight which led to our divorce but when he left me a part of me left with him and i was to sad and cried all day and night i was searching something online when i saw people testifying about his great work and i just decided to give him a try i did everything he told me to do and he assured me that after 24 hours my husband will come back to me,the next morning to my greatest surprised a car stopped outside my house and it was my husband i'm so happy he can also help you email him at
      ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  

      Blog: https://ancientspirit1.blogspot.com
      Website http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me
      WhatsApp +2347059715465


      Delete
    2. EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL DR.OJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution. My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family. You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail. com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934





































      EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL DR.OJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution. My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family. You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail. com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934

      Delete
  2. Perhaps a debate on the Eucharist will wake you up out of your spiritual coma...

    http://matt1618.freeyellow.com/malakyeopening.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are part of a search and rescue for lost Catholics.

    Regular updates to the countdown to the Day of the Lord by the sign of the Son of Man in Heaven at :

    http://risen-from-the-dead.forumotion.com/

    What to expect in the final days :

    https://www.tldm.org/news/darkness-11-13-98.htm

    I was a fourth child to my third mother, though Judas Iscariot resurrected was attached to me. I'm familiar with your difficulties.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We have entered the "age to come" foretold by Jesus in Mark 10:30.

    http://risen-from-the-dead.forumotion.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL DR.OJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution. My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Ojoka a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family. You can as well contact Dr. Ojoka , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail. com or directly on Whats App: +2348144172934

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi everybody. I recently saw a testimony about chief dr lucky in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed, he wasn't returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted chief dr lucky ..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, his consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cause I heard read and heard lots of stories to of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope he could help other people too like he did me...I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back. E-mail: Cheifdrlucky@gmail.com or contact him on whats App him +2348132777335 Website :http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/  

    ReplyDelete
  7. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I had been rejected by my husband after five(5) years of marriage just because another woman had cast a spell on him and he left me with 2 kids to suffer. One day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how he help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a chance he told me that my husband is under spell, he said that he will help me and after 7 days that i will have my husband back. i believed he and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back now my husband is back with after 7 days . he also gave me a financial magic ring to boost my business and removed bad luck. i am now happy with my husband. Thanks you Dr. love please contact him at (lovespelldoctor0@gmail. com)

    ReplyDelete

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