How To Ruin Your Family Vacation in Nine Easy Steps (And How the Fruits of the Holy Spirit Can Redeem It)

Having just come off one of our yearly purgatories vacations myself, I hereby submit that truly ruining your family’s time together has nothing to do with poor planning and everything to do with your party’s demeanor

Take heart, though!  We have the fruits of the Holy Spirit to help redeem our getaways. And you might be as surprised as I was to discover how the Paraclete’s fruits seem like they were written with the family vacationer specifically in mind.

Here are nine ways to ruin your family vacation and the fruit that counters it:

1.) Always assume your ideas are better than everyone else’s.  Does someone suffer from a case of I-know-it-all-itis?  Let me guess: you know the best way to pack, what sights to see, and how to do everything better!  Well, keep reminding others about that and when no one is motivated to do anything or help out don’t be surprised.

Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness. This fruit requires showing kindness to all no matter what, even if their ideas are truly inferior to yours.  Even if Uncle Ernie always packs the food supplies upside-down, and cousin Cletus must see that world famous potato chip for the thousandth time, be kind!  You might just exercise some patience or learn to appreciate something you never thought you would.

2.) Insist on your own comfort first.  If your mantra goes: my space, my stuff, my slightly obese side of the room, my luxurious shower time, then you will quickly learn that the surest way to make enemies is placing your own comfort first. 

Fruit of the Spirit: Love. This refers to a selfless and giving love (caritas) that gives freely without asking anything in return.  Look, everyone wants the same cushy thing, but not everyone can have it.  So share what little space and hot water there may be as to make life a bit more pleasant for everyone.  Because it’s not fair to make everyone else gain brownie points in heaven while you make off like a bandit.

3.) Abide by your own schedule despite your group’s itinerary.  Rule number one: move with the group.  Disregard this if you not only want people to loathe you but also if you gain a weird personal satisfaction in perpetually making others late.

Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness. This means committing to something greater than oneself, in this case: the group’s itinerary, which should not be overly constrained by individual needs. If everyone only ate when they were hungry, you’d have seventeen different eating times.  If everyone ‘took their time’ getting ready then you’d always be late to things.  So keep to the plan even if it means taking food to go and speeding up a bit.  Simple.

4.) Disregard the feelings of others. Drive unsafely. Smoke at meals. Play loud music into the wee hours and what do you get?  Well, if you are a Christian, along with a show of some great hypocrisy, your poor vacation etiquette has now made regimented state prison sound like a resort for everyone around you.

Fruit of the Spirit: Goodness.  Goodness is close to self-discipline.  So smoke away from the crowd, put on headphones and abide by the rules of the road.  No one likes to feel like they are with someone that just doesn’t care.  So don’t be that someone.

5.) Fight with people.  Wait until the right moment to bring up a past hurt or issue, or even better, create new one that will take weeks, if not years afterwards to bury the hatchet over.  Bonus if you make a family member have to play the mediator because that is exactly what they were hoping to do on their vacation.

Fruit of the Spirit: Peace.  Peace means being right with God through Christ’s sacrifice.  Only then are we able to have and make peace with others. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they show us that everything pales in importance in comparison to truly having peace no matter how your worldly vacation is going.

6.) Over-Indulge. Over sleep. Over pack. Over eat.  Drink to excess. It’s up to you to choose which vice you most want your kids to remember you for (sloth, gluttony, or hoarding, oh my!).

Fruit of the Spirit: Self-Control.  Enough said.

7.) Stress over the minutia. What?! The kids’ socks don’t match? I know, make a big deal out of it because the world will explode if you don’t. Although, last I checked, it was called ‘vacation,’ which means giving others and yourself a break from worrying about minutia.

Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness. This is one trait that St. Paul insists on. So it must be important, right? It is important.  Things happen when on vacation and sometimes socks don’t match. Take it as it comes and don’t let it change you into a monster.  Stay gentle, my friend.  Which brings us to:

8.) Frown. If you are unhappy, be sure to appear unhappy so people know you are unhappy.  They’ll surely appreciate the black cloud hanging over the group and want to go out and explore the wide world then.

Fruit of the Spirit: Joy. Joy here refers to something that is not a human-based happiness.  Yes, there are moments where you probably will feel tired and irritated on vacation.  But let it go of the bad feelings and pray for that Divine Joy that has never been found in human things anyway.

9.) Complain.  When glowering at others in silence isn’t enough, there’s always getting verbal.  Express ad nauseum how everything around you fails to please you and then wonder why no one seems to be having a good time.

Fruit of the Spirit: Forbearance.  Hey, it’s family and you’re stuck (three words for you: let it go.)  Did you really expect them to be perfect?  They’re charged with sanctifying you, and trust me, they definitely will rise to the occasion, especially during your family vacation!

But maybe, just maybe, if you and I and all of us prayed for the fruits of the Holy Spirit while we traveled, we just might gain sanctification without the usual, er, ‘opportunities’ for sanctification.  We just might enjoy ourselves, and allow others to have a great time as well.

And check out this funny slideshow of awkward family vacation photos which prove we are probably more ahead than we think! Stay safe and holy out there!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/video/hillarylevine/the-awkward-family-vacation-slideshow-to-end-all-awkward-fam

In Praise of Google Maps

I remember road navigation pre-satellite power. Most distinctly I recall hastily folded and refolded maps stuffed-until-stuck in the side pockets of the driver and passenger side doors until our journeys warranted their use.  We had maps for nearly every state in the west and southwest from our own California to Texas.  And that was only the state maps.

My parents also kept detailed city maps for several of our favorite haunts and a thick wire-bound US atlas that lived under a chair (mostly because it did not fit in the door or glove box). It was commonplace to stop at gas stops and convenience stores to buy the local map. I admit I loved finding our location on paper maps back then. And I still enjoy 'seeing' where exactly I'm at - only now the map I look at happens to be on my phone and consist of a pulsating blue dot that moves wherever I move.

Say what you will about how Google maps has misdirected you at times, I personally believe that it has added to life immensely, to our ease of navigation now on family vacations or wherever we are. The usual stress over pondering where the next gas station is or whether we are going to run into traffic is gone. And, of course, Google map's greatest attribute is that it does get you where you need to go the majority of the time.

So far, for my husband and I, our family car has never known a paper map... Not that I dislike them, but do you remember the angst involved in trying to refold those things correctly? It always took careful crease analysis and and a few attempts to get it right!

Gone now are the days when one needed to drive around to find a place to eat: now just type in "food" and a dozen red pins drop near your blinking blue dot location.

Gone also is wondering "how long until" we get there. So now when the kids ask "Are we there yet?" You can simply pass them the phone or point to the GPS and wittily retort,"Ask the map."

I also can't emphasize enough just how much it has enriched my whole domestic life being able to type something as basic as "store" and "Starbucks" (c'mon, it's basic, right?) and have all of my options come up wherever I am. It has literally saved us while on vacation or in unfamiliar locations. 

For us, Google maps is a lifesaver ... with a lot less folding involved. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for teaching children navigation but the first map our little ones may behold these days may just be digital and that's okay with me! But the moment they start saying things to a paper map like "school" or "home" or "Starbucks," then we'll have to talk.

Ten Things You Can Always Anticipate On Vacations With Kids

We love our children. We love vacationing with them. Having stated thus, there are some things that inevitably occur or cross one’s mind when courageously traveling with young ones (we have a three year old and a one year old, so far).

Read on and let me know of any universal occurrences you’ve experienced in your travels with kids!

1. One shoe/sock (item that comes in a pair) will always get lost.
2. I don’t care what toys you brought or bought for each one, they will always want what the other has.
3. What one wants to eat, the other(s) will want to eat.
4. Where one wants to stand, the other(s) will want to stand.
5. Little digestive tracks inconsiderately misbehave (the poor things)!
6. Delirious tiredness leads to giggle-attacks right before bed and/or during other supposed-to-be-quiet moments.
7. If you have to be somewhere at a certain time, count on something coming up at the last moment impeding your family's punctual arrival.
8. There will be at least one moment of weakness where you will wonder whether all of the hard work and hassle are worth it…or several such moments.
9. You will contemplate petitioning to make foot stools for sinks a mandatory component of every public bathroom; the same for baby diaper stations.
10. You will always wish for coin-operated laundry services, at the very least, wherever you go!

Decrease of personal fundage for the sake of exposing the kids to new places - check!
Increase of appreciation for biblical caravan travel where a whole community was there to help you out - check!
Deeper affinity with the Holy Family and what they must have gone through on their pilgrimages to Jerusalem - you bet! (Of course, I'm taking it for granted here that Jesus must have been a good kid to travel with - what other kind would run to the Temple of Jerusalem when lost?)