punchy line

...and he (Simon Peter) saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth ... not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. - Jn 20: 6-7
-Jn 20: 6-7

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Parenthood Gives You Special Insight Into God

Before I had children, I can't tell you how many people told me that having kids would change me.  They were both right and wrong.

I have not changed in my basic convictions to try to live virtuously and by the Church's teachings.  Nor have I compromised on the morals I held before I had my kids.  If anything, I've become more resolute in them over time.  But I digress...

It's true that I have changed due to having kids.  I've 'lightened up' in my expectations of others and myself.  This isn't to say I've just given up hope (though that's a real temptation at times) or lowered the bar of my expectations of humanity (which is pure relativism, if you ask me), but I've learned how to become more resigned to reality as it is, and to not punish others or myself when life fails to be as I think it should be.  I still hold people to a high standard, but I suppose that when I see how far they are from doing God's will,  I've become more of a compassionate realist, rather than a tyrannical optimist.  This has also helped me to be less judgmental of people in general, to tell them the truth in all charity as well as be less judging about how my parents raised me.  Although I was the perfect child, of course...

I've experienced God as the ultimate realist and also the most compassionate of fathers . And I believe that parents, spiritual or otherwise, are in the best position to experience what it means to unconditionally love in the same way.

Before I became a mother, I never had such a deep insight into human beings and how they desire and think and rationalize and excuse and scheme and fear and create and grow and mature...because I never had to be there at every single moment of their daily formation.  Now I'm the constant witness of every bump, scrape, triumph, smile, stink, laugh and endearing moment of my children's lives.  A bit like God.

No, I'm not trying to deify myself or all parents.  I know that moms and dads and grandparents alike make terrible mistakes.  I personally am frequently reminded of my own human frailty and weaknesses which make me anything but Christ-like.  However, being a mom allows me to relate, in a unique way, to today's gospel where Jesus instructs His disciples on prayer,  "...do not babble as the pagans do...your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

As a parent of a babbling two year old, I can tell you from experience, that even without forming proper phrases, I can actually understand most of what my son says, and I can anticipate what he wants before he 'asks' (i.e strings together as many sounds as he knows right now).  This due to the fact that I simply 'know' my son in a way I never knew anyone before I had kids.

And I truly believe this gives me and all parents a special insight into God as the Father who knew us before we were conceived and who understands our needs before we ask and babble to Him in prayer. Well, maybe that's just me that drools when I blather. I just hope that He still finds me as cute as only a parent could when I do so.

But enough of my jabbering.  What do you think?


  1. Becoming a parent has changed me as well...although somewhat opposite of what you've described.

    I became more ardent in my faith after my first born, but I've also become more demanding of others in my expectations. I've come to a point where I feel that I haven't held people enough accountable for their actions or lack of action.

    I don't want to give the impression that I judge people for their failings. It's more like I feel like I've failed others by not speaking up more when it's obvious that they were going about things the wrong way. In other words, their compass was pointing the wrong direction. I would just let it go and go with the flow, which isn't right for my part.

    Part of what I learned as a parent is my job is to guide my children, and that has led me down the path of being responsible to guide the rest of humanity. If I don't do that, then I've failed God.

    1. Thank you so much for this comment. I actually feel the same way (and I guess that didn't really come through in this post). I've altered it slightly so that some of the great wisdom you touched on and which I too internalize shows through a bit more.

      Failing to speak out, especially when it comes to family, is one of my most bitter regrets. The same can be said for when I was at university.

      We definitely are called to guide the rest of humanity by living and preaching the truth in all charity. Thank you so much, again, for reading and commenting! GB

  2. I so agree that I know my children in a way that I've never known any other person. My oldest, DJ, who's five, I can pretty much read him like a book. But I've never thought about that in relation to the way Our Heavenly Father knows us. I find it very soothing. Thanks for the wonderful post.

    1. Thank you for reading! It's been such an amazing discovery for me to know my children "through and through." I know that they are autonomous little people who will one day grow and leave me, but I wonder if I will still know them in the same way when that happens. God bless!