I already hate you. In fact I've hated all four of you that I have voted in so far.
I grew up loving you, intrigued by you, eager to know you and finally become a part of you, hoping to one day be standing there at your conventions in my red, white and blue top hat and casting my vote in with candidate that truly represented Joe Shmoe 'Merika.
But now I see you for what you are. An overly expensive, farcical dog and pony show whose two candidates leave me morally bankrupt on different levels.
None of the lesser known candidates I really admire will ever make it to President let alone lead the party platform. They'll get shot down in the first round...again, as will my hope for true change.
Let's skip to the final chapter, shall we presidential election?
At your culmination, we will again have a president who will sit in office for the next four years, passing policies that will rarely ever inspire me on a good day, and blame the opposing party for stalling them the rest of the time.
I just want you to know ahead of time from me that we are not friends, presidential election. You don't like, know or even care to know me and I certainly am sick at the very mention of you.
I am disappointed in you, ashamed of you and if I could avoid ever mentioning you to my children I would. But the day will come when I will have to tell them about you, and what being a part of you means for someone so wholly and repeatedly disappointed in you with no end to the let downs in sight.
I doubt my kids even know the current president's name. President? What's that? Something that requires an election that you dread coming around every four years, I guess.
So can we just skip this next election, please? Obama can just hang up his hat and go and let's just not bother with a replacement. Please? Congress can continue being constipated and the rest of us holding the country together on the grassroots level can keep our day jobs?
Heck, if we must have an election, maybe we can just draw straws this time? At this point drawing straws for presidency is a far more exciting prospect, and equally effective as our current format that gives us no clear solution at all.
Who will you parade around this year, presidential election? The wealthy candidate who uses my values to bait me into voting for them or the wealthy candidate who uses my uses my values to bait me into voting for them? Hm. Let's see.
Nope. You can keep it to yourself, presidential election, or announce it to the world, I really don't care. Your very name now dishonors the veterans who have died for your sake. I vote almost solely out of hallowed respect for their sacrifice and valor.
Valor, and honor, by the way, presidential election, are those qualities that command respect in and of themselves and not just because someone in Hollywood threw you a fancy fundraiser.
Let's get this over with, presidential election - I know you are going to come anyway and you know that I am going to have to vote one of your circus animals into office. It's inevitable. Let's do this.
I only ask that we get this over quickly so that the rest of us busy with real life can get back to it soon. At least give me that, won't you? The ability to forget you? Until the next time. In which case just reread this then too. Signed, just another Joe Shmoe 'Merikan.