punchy line

...and he (Simon Peter) saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth ... not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. - Jn 20: 6-7
-Jn 20: 6-7

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Sisterhood of Lay Catholic Women

If the Catholic Church ever took out an ad that listed its most winning attributes, most people might be surprised to find, “Haven for women seeking earnest, genuine friendships with other women.” Which is a shame really, because for me, in recent years, that’s exactly what the Church has done: it has provided a wellspring of fun, down to earth, Faith filled women of all ages, near and far, that I would never have know otherwise.

Dare I even say it? In the Church, as a woman, I’ve found a sisterhood of sorts with other lay Catholic women.

While I would never suggest that the sisterhood I speak of is on the same level as consecrated religious sisters, there are some striking similarities between the lives of “Sr.” sisters and us, lay woman “sisters.”

Number one: like nuns, we lay women pray.  We pray daily.  We pretty much need to pray or else we’ll die.  The Holy Rosary is frequently our prayer of choice.  We pray for the members of our ‘community’ whether that means other women in our parish, social circles, families or those whom we’ve met online.  After mass today, for instance, I was asking a few Catholic moms to pray for a special intention.

Try going out into secular society and stringing the words “pray” and “special” and “intention” together in one sentence and see how that goes.  In contrast, amongst my Catholic lay sisters, such a request is received as naturally as if you were asking for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (In fact, asking for a sandwich would be a little more weird, you know, because who actually goes around doing that?)

Number two: we adore Jesus before all others, both figuratively and literally.  And truly, if any of us is being honest, we’re slightly envious that consecrated religious sisters get the spouse who probably would never forget when it’s trash night.

Number three: Our ‘sisterhood’ can be as widespread as any religious order thanks to newer technologies.

Blogosphere sisterhood is a rather recent invention, and perhaps a stretch for the imagination for some, but believe me, it exists.

Like when one blogger’s child is injured and everyone links to her page on the internet.  It doesn’t just end there, you see.  My whole family will take the time to pray for hers as often as we can.  Or when another blogger publishes a book it’s such a strengthening moment for our ‘community’ of lay women everywhere. 

I personally also find it incredibly consoling when a lay women writes about the experience of being a lay woman. Is there anything more freeing for a woman than knowing that her sister’s crosses are nearly identical to her own?  Doubt it!  It’s saved my life to be sure.

Because I have the experiences of other women to bounce off of, I know that for any sort of difficulty I’m having, there’s someone who has ‘been there.’  Heck, she’s probably ‘been there’ several times over and is a bit battle scorched and salty, but hey, that’s the toll that has come from her faithful perseverance.

If I am being very honest, I kind of need her if I am ever to be her to other lay women who, at the end of the day, find themselves thirsting for what all women need on such a basic, primordial level: a friend.  Nay, a sister.

But let it not all be about pain and sacrifice, for, mercifully, Catholic lay women are also ridiculous, crazy fun. This is the last similarity between ourselves and religious that I’ll mention: we too know how to have a good time!

I once shunned the company of women at my parish convinced that I’d be a hypocrite if I approached them because there I was, such a mess and still attending mass.  But now, having gotten to know many of the gals at the parish, and realizing that we’re all a mess in our own ways, it’s been awesome!

I’ve never laughed so hard or so genuinely as with my Catholic sisters.  It’s made me a better person because I’m not staying stuck in my own mind, as is my tendency. Nor do I have to fear them judging me if I do something crazy like regularly attend spiritual direction, participate in a Walk for Life or have a baby.

It was always a challenge making friendships in the secular world as I went about half hoping that no one would notice how much I loved God and His Church.  But such a concern has evaporated now that I know there is a community that I can truly be myself with.   The only way to describe it is a sisterhood of lay Catholic women, all adhering to their Faith, the rock upon which they are building their lives.


  1. Hello I am interested in joining a sisterhood... I am a catholic... not sure where to look or how to get started........................... is there any help out there ?

  2. Not sure if you got this:

    Hi Marissa, I am a convert to the catholic faith and I, too, have found a sisterhood that surpasses anything I could have imagined. My sisters have saved me! I do not have a biological sister, but I know this is what it would feel like! I have lived in Monterey for 13 1/2 years and my holiday celebrations now include more than 40 parishioners who are our family. In the past couple of years I have really noticed that God has given me the gift to love, really love, others. He has given me opportunities to care for others that awe me. After taking about 25 teens to NorCal On Fire in Vallejo last weekend, I have been feeling convicted to give a talk on Sisterhood. I was Googling "Catholic Sisterhood" and your blog came up. You even live near me!! (I am in Monterey.) I have a few of my Sisters praying for my discernment over whether or not to compose a talk about sisterhood. Do you have any guidance? I think God has has in mind that I share both Biblical truth and personal experience regarding our need to be a community , loving and supporting each other in this crazy journey. Needing the greater sisterhood to weigh in on this! I love what you have to say here and would love to know if you have done anything like this before.

    P.S. My family calls me the LAUNDRY NINJA so your blog name really made me crack up!