If the Catholic Church ever took out an ad that listed its most
winning attributes, most people might be surprised to find, “Haven for women
seeking earnest, genuine friendships with other women.” Which is a shame
really, because for me, in recent years, that’s exactly what the Church has done:
it has provided a wellspring of fun, down to earth, Faith filled women of all
ages, near and far, that I would never have know otherwise.
Dare I even say it? In the Church, as a woman, I’ve found a sisterhood of sorts with other lay
Catholic women.
While I would never suggest that the sisterhood I speak of is
on the same level as consecrated religious sisters, there are some striking similarities
between the lives of “Sr.” sisters and us, lay woman “sisters.”
Number one: like nuns, we lay women pray. We pray daily. We pretty much need to pray or else we’ll die. The Holy Rosary is frequently our prayer of
choice. We pray for the members of our
‘community’ whether that means other women in our parish, social circles,
families or those whom we’ve met online. After mass today, for instance, I was asking a
few Catholic moms to pray for a special intention.
Try going out into secular society and stringing the words
“pray” and “special” and “intention” together in one sentence and see how that
goes. In contrast, amongst my Catholic lay
sisters, such a request is received as naturally as if you were asking for a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich (In fact, asking for a sandwich would be a
little more weird, you know, because who actually goes around doing that?)
Number two: we adore Jesus before all others, both
figuratively and literally. And truly,
if any of us is being honest, we’re slightly envious that consecrated religious
sisters get the spouse who probably would never forget when it’s trash night.
Number three: Our ‘sisterhood’ can be as widespread as any
religious order thanks to newer technologies.
Blogosphere sisterhood is a rather recent invention, and
perhaps a stretch for the imagination for some, but believe me, it exists.
Like when one blogger’s child is injured and everyone links
to her page on the internet. It doesn’t
just end there, you see. My whole family
will take the time to pray for hers as often as we can. Or when another blogger publishes a book it’s
such a strengthening moment for our ‘community’ of lay women everywhere.
I personally also find it incredibly consoling when a lay women
writes about the experience of being a lay woman. Is there anything more freeing
for a woman than knowing that her sister’s crosses are nearly identical to her own? Doubt it!
It’s saved my life to be sure.
Because I have the experiences of other women to bounce off
of, I know that for any sort of difficulty I’m having, there’s someone who has ‘been
there.’ Heck, she’s probably ‘been there’
several times over and is a bit battle scorched and salty, but hey, that’s the
toll that has come from her faithful perseverance.
If I am being very honest, I kind of need her if I am ever to be
her to other lay women who, at the end of the day, find themselves thirsting
for what all women need on such a basic, primordial level: a friend. Nay, a sister.
But let it not all be about pain and sacrifice, for,
mercifully, Catholic lay women are also ridiculous, crazy fun. This is the last
similarity between ourselves and religious that I’ll mention: we too know how
to have a good time!
I once shunned the company of women at my parish convinced
that I’d be a hypocrite if I approached them because there I was, such a mess
and still attending mass. But now,
having gotten to know many of the gals at the parish, and realizing that we’re all a mess in our own ways, it’s
been awesome!
I’ve never laughed so hard or so genuinely as with my Catholic
sisters. It’s made me a better person because
I’m not staying stuck in my own mind, as is my tendency. Nor do I have to fear
them judging me if I do something crazy like regularly attend spiritual direction,
participate in a Walk for Life or have a baby.
It was always a challenge making friendships in the secular
world as I went about half hoping that no one would notice how much I loved God
and His Church. But such a concern has
evaporated now that I know there is a community that I can truly be myself with. The
only way to describe it is a sisterhood of lay Catholic women, all adhering to
their Faith, the rock upon which they are building their lives.
