I make my way stepping over toys to the kids’ room in search
of my husband.
I find him half asleep and rocking our four year old son who
has been experiencing night terrors.
In literally only a couple of hours my husband
will have to get up and go to work for his family while we all sleep in. It hardly seems fair to the man, having to
suffer through the night only to wake up and go provide for his family. However he does it, every single day, out of
love for us.
That, to me, is a man and that is exactly why I can’t read
or watch Fifty Shades of Grey where the main character,
Christian (I hate that he is named this) Grey, ties up, beats up and practices all
sorts of "BDSM" (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) on his girlfriend. And the girl, Anastasia (aw, how Disney), she’s in love with
it, or him, or at least can’t seem to live without it or him, right? Healthy.
Here's the thing: people, women especially will never come
to view Fifty Shades in the destructive,
shameful light it should be cast in unless they have experienced what real
masculinity and selfless suffering look like.
Unless they’ve encountered what it means to be in fully committed
relationship (i.e. marriage), with someone who dies to themselves everyday, or
in the middle of the night if need be, for them and their family, then a smut
book like Fifty Shades is all mindless fun and games.
That isn’t to say that married women and mothers haven’t
read the book by the droves. The book
alone has sold almost one hundred million copies globally. Mom-porn is the term, I believe. Are you kidding me?
Wives, is BDSM the sort of sexual relationship you want with
your spouse?
Is Christian Grey the man you’d want for your daughters? If
you have a daughter, the thought of any man abusing them in such a way as
Christian does Anastasia, and having it glorified as sexy, should spark
immediate disgust.
Is Christian Grey the man you want your sons to grow
into? I can’t even entertain the notion
of any of my beautiful boys as Christian Grey without wanting to move to
Timbucktoo just to avoid them ever exposed to the normalization of such
shameful acts.
To those who say they
would never do what’s in the story,
but they don’t see the harm in reading the books and seeing the movie, please
consider this:
Purity of heart is important and I submit to you that convoluting
that purity with a story like Fifty Shades dampens your sense of God and
therefore, right and wrong.
If you can’t tell the difference between what is good and
what is bad, then what’s to stop you from making seriously unhealthy decisions
for your relationship? From 'experimenting' or from the get-go choosing the wrong person to be with?
May the wise take heed: in reality, sexually impure acts, whether they are to the degree described in Fifty Shades or even if they take a less violent form, such as cohabitation (equally destructive over time), is the emotionally
codependent path upon which many bad relationships tread for a long time.
Don’t do it. Avoid
the allure of twisted temptations sold as exciting. Stick to the loving, selfless acts of charity
that build up your spouse, family and yourself and upon which all healthy
relationships are based. All long lasting, sexually fulfilling
marriages as well.
